Parenting a child with a disability comes with its own set of unique frustrations.

The exhaustion might be tripled, evaluations and assessments are scary and stressful, and there may not be one best way to move forward with therapy. Fortunately, most mothers of children with disabilities are positive, proactive and energetic.

They lead support groups, are activists in the special education community, and are champions for their children. However, even the most optimistic of these mothers have struggled with anxiety and worry at one time or a hundred. Here are some suggestions from parents who have been there and what they’ve learned along the way.

Kim Stagliano, mother of three daughters who all have autism, is somewhat of an expert on the subject. She’s even written a book on the topic. “All I Can Handle: I’m No Mother Teresa” is a funny, sad and informative chronicle of her experiences with her daughters. When asked what helped her getThrough the worst of times, she agreed there were moments when all she could do was hope.

Stagliano suggests parents let their emotions take course; if you need to cry, do it. It can be cathartic. She remembers feeling like a hamster on an exercise wheel, exhausted, but knowing three little girls needed her care. There will not be an end to the demands, so you need to learn to deal with it.

To start, build yourself a support system. While family members or neighbors can offer love and hopefully periodic babysitting, parents also need to find families with similar circumstances. Find national websites that provide information and research, but one that also offers an online community so you can “chat” with parents whose needs mirror your own. Look to see if there are local support groups near you. Through these websites you may also find therapy tips, nutrition and diet information, and possible social outlets for you and your family.

Julie McAllister, the mother of one child with Aspergers syndrome and one child with food allergies, has had her share of depression. Before her children were diagnosed, she began to feel lonely, guilty, and isolated as she did her best to raise her sons. There was very little sleeping going on at her house, and between the exhaustion and her sons’ mysterious meltdowns, Julie rarely left her home. Finally, she began treating her depression by making self-care a priority. She focused on nutrition, and sought the help of educated professionals. Because she made time for herself, she had more energy and enthusiasm for her family.

Kim echoes Julie’s sentiment about needing to have a life. While taking an exercise class or going out with friends might be best, that involves finding childcare, which can be tricky. If the only option is watching a favorite television program or reading a good book, do it. To maintain the endurance necessary of raising a child with special needs, it’s important to lose yourself in another world from time to time. It’s in those moments You might determine what you need for yourself, whether it’s rearranging the therapy schedule, asking for help with chores or getting out of the house by yourself for an hour or two a week.

Another helpful suggestion is to find an activity that includes special assistance that your whole family can enjoy. Many recreational facilities assist individuals with disabilities to develop cycling skills for recreation, fitness and transportation. Another popular activity is horseback riding. Therapeutic riding facilities are common, and children who never considered riding a horse are amazed at the independence and enjoyment riding can offer. Explore the Internet, ask questions and keep an open mind. Finding a new family hobby can bring a feeling of accomplishment, bonding and fun.

It won’t always be easy, but there is help available. Start making phone calls and don’t stop until you find what you are looking for.

Julia Garstecki is a freelance writer. Her passion for writing is second only to her passion for her family.